you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
