Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
