some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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