I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
either way he was missing a nipple.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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