I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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