i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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