school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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