So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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