dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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