i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
