I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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