She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
