the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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