I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
