dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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