Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
