Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
