do herpes really smell.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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