I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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