The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
