remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
