He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
