i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
