God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
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Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
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I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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