$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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