I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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