I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
