i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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