You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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