Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
