You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
