Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You may now shotgun with the bride
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
