Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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