I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
