there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
