? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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