You smell like stripper and shame
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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