omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
