I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
