Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize