Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
