I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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