Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
