tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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