I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
this will be a night to untag.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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