Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
