so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
