Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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