just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
handjob tips. give me some.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
