dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
