you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
