we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
