I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
