I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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