It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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