i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
