why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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