If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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