i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize