I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
