you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
