Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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