I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
