Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's shark week go big or go home
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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