You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
