i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
