We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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